i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
