you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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