I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my liver is dry heaving
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
