You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
