C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize