i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
