R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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