3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
