i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
