I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
