Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They took my balls.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
