I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
