There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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