you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
