Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
