I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
