i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
