A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
