Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize