Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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