I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
