He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
