Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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