i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
