all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
