how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize