I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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