im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You ruined the universe
Randomize