So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
