the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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