Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
