Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
