Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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