Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
