Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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