Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
