i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize