Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize