i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
