then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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