Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
