I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
