I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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