So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
