I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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