I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think a kid would responsible me up
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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