just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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