If i come over, it means nothing
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
