I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We talked him into tasing himself.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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