Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
