I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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