Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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