in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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