I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
