rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
