Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
