she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
