When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
