You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I CAN MOONWALK!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
