there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
