I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
