i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
