i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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